For the umpteenth time, I have had to tell people that the idea of using the hymen for asessing virginity in females is unfair and ineffective.

Although I have discussed this on my instagram and Facebook pages, I am compelled to to use this medium to, again, educate both men and women on the controversial issue of female virginity and the role the hymen plays in it. 

Few days ago I got contacted by a young lady (newly wed) who was practically in tears. After I calmed her down, she narrated to me that her hubby was threatening her with divorce on account of her not bleeding during sex with him even though she had confessed to him that she has always been a virgin until that very day that her hubby got intimate with her. So she wanted me to explain to her on how possible it is that she didn’t bleed even though that was her very first sexual encounter, and if possible, to relay same explanation to her hubby so that she is spared the embarrassment.

Here Are The Facts

1. First of all, you need to have some knowledge of the anatomy of the female organ so that you are kept in perspective of the explanation that will come soon. As you may already know, the entrance to the vagina of  most women who are not yet sexually active (haven’t started having vaginal sex) is usually covered by a thin membranous tissue. This tissue is known as the hymen. The hymen partially covers the vaginal entrance and leaves only a small, narrow opening for menstrual flow to come out during menstruation.

2. While majority of women are born with the hymen, a few others are born without it while some of those born with it lose theirs via nonsexual activities without even realizing it.

3. In women who have the hymen present until the time they attempt penetrative vaginal intercourse, the process of penetrating the vagina often stretches the hymen so much that it tears and gives way to the penetrating penis. For some women, especially those with very thick hymens, this (first time sex) can be unbearably painful.

Anyways, once the hymen gets torn, little blood leaks out and the woman may experience some burning sensation when she tries to wash up or when tries to urinate afterwards. This is normal and expected. That said, there are instances when, although the hymen is intact, first time sex can happen without bleeding.

4. As already stated, quite a number of women are born without a hymen while some born with it tend to lose to nonsexual activities like bicycle riding, active sports e.g gymnastics, horse riding, etc. In addition, even in women who have it up to the point of their first sex, depending on how thick the hymen is, penetration can happen without bleeding. Well It is very possible.

In fact, any sexually skilled man who is patient enough can, over time, use his finger to stretch the hymen gradually until it is slack or spacious enough for penetration to happen without corresponding bleeding.


It means that the idea or practice of using the hymen to assess virginity in females is subject to error. For example, one may want to ask: what about those girls who are born without it? Or what about those who unknowingly lose theirs via nonsexual activities?

The truth is that, as far as medicine or science is concerned, there is yet to be a test for virginity in females that is unbiased and reasonably accurate.  May be in the nearest future but certainly not now.

Which is why developed countries have outlawed the practise of using the hymen to test for female virginity. Sadly, the practise still holds sway in underdeveloped countries of the world.

By the way, do you know that is now possible for women to have their hymens surgically restored even after they have been sexually active? Yes, it is very possible. The surgical procedure is known as *HMENOPLASTY* and it is so good that after the procedure, these women can bleed and claim to be virgins after meeting with their partners. In fact, there are now artificial hymens impregnated with artificial blood and covered over the vaginal entrance. Once penetration is attempted, the artificial hymen ruptures and bleeds. The man, unaware of this, easily believes that indeed his wife must be a virgin.


The times have changed. Enough of all these *”you-must-bleed-during-first-sex”* tales! It is outdated. If you are lucky to have your hymen intact up until the time of first sex, then good for you. If you are not, it doesn’t make you less of a virgin so far you are not sexually active and neither does it make you abnormal. By the way, vaginal sex is just one of the many types of sex. There is also anal, oral sex, etc. Medically speaking, we consider these other types of sex as sexual activity as well.

Well Nothing
Now, to the all men out there, I admonish you all to relax your insistence on that senseless rule of “she-must-bleed-if-she-is-a-virgin”. As you can see from my explanation above, she can be a virgin and still not bleed or she can even get an artificial hymen and bleed and claim to be a virgin even after she has had intercourse before.

As it stands, you can only take her word for it. The fact that some women are noreb without hymens and the fact that it can be artificially restored when lost makes it an inaccurate method of assessing virginity in females. Stop giving yourself sleepless nights. Stop victimizing your wives or partners because they failed to bleed even after claiming to be virgins.

By the way, there is absolutely no correlation with feequency of sex and the size of the vagina. There is this misconception that if a woman sleeps around, she will have a wide or lose vagina.

No amount of sex can cause the vagina to become lose. If you understand the anatomy of the vagina then you will know that it is not possible at all. That said, there are things or factors that can cause the vagina to widen or become lose (this is not even a correct description of the condition. There is actually nothing like lose vagina- it is either less elastic, inelastic or elastic) e.g multiple childbirth. I shall do a detailed post on this as well in the coming coming weeks.

Thank you for reading!



  1. Pretty great post. I simply stumbled upon your weblog and wanted to say that I have really loved browsing your blog posts.

  2. So you want to find out what "losing your virginity "means. Well before going any further, if you don`t know already then maybe you`re not ready for losing yours. Losing your virginity is not a matter to be taken lightly.

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